First, there’s the “I am a yogi, a barrister, an Irishman,…. Etc, etc” But under that I am a
mind and a body and a soul. I am a link in the chain of existence, of life, I am part of all that
there is and was and will be. I am inside God and God is inside me. Then “I am Story”, all
the stories I tell myself- “I am strong”, “I am able”, “I struggle”, “I overcome”, “I am Warrior”,
“I succeed”, “I am enough”, “I am open to receiving help and guidance”, “I am open to
receiving thanks and praise”, “I love”, “I am loved”.
I’ve realised that personality is just a collection of stories. Some we like more than others,
but we keep telling ourselves those stories and what we believe becomes real, like it or not.
I came across my old journal later on today. It makes pretty sad reading in hindsight. I
wanted to bring back the farm, so badly. I was so short of money, even five years into my
law practice. I was struggling so hard to make a go of things. Knowing my motivations as I
know them now, I would have told my twenty-something self to give up the Bar, leave the
farm and go travel. The Bar would still have been there afterwards.
Is it this early struggle in a professional career that makes one cling so desperately to it once
it has become established? As of this moment, I am very seriously contemplating making
2023 my last full year at the Bar. This would be my last full summer when I compromise my
summer to suit and oblige solicitors. I could announce next Christmas that I would be
ceasing practice at end of Trinity 2024. That would see me gone after 37 years. While the
Bar has undoubtedly contributed to bringing me to where I am now, I don’t want to be a
barrister any more. I just want to be a yogi on a bike.
